Friday, 5 February 2010

Tax doesn't have to be taxing.

My funny, funny Cellist friend and I are sat in a classroom after we have just finished doing our presentations. We were all very much relieved it was over. Our favourite lecturer who was orchestrating the whole thing stands at the front of the room and says warmly. "Okay guys. Well done to all of you. You've all passed" (We all cheer) "Now, I have a little suprise for you, but first we have to do a little self assesment". The words 'Self Assesment' pop up in big letters in front of us on the slideshow. "Tax doesn't have to be taxing" my friend whispers into my ear. I find this incredibly funny and can't pay any attention for the next five minutes. The self assesment is over. Its time for the suprise. "Now because you've all done such a good job, i've got a little warm fuzzy to help calm you all down"
"A warm fuzzy?"
"Yes!" she exclaims pressing a button to make a picture of a red panda pop up on the screen.
"Its a red panda! Awww isn't it cute!" At this point i begin to wonder whether in fact our lecturer has gone mad. But she hadn't. She had devised a clever plan. Lull us into a false sense of security and spring bad news upon us all. "Its adorable isn't it!" she repeats staring up at the picture with an expression of wonder and delight. A big smile planted across her lips. Her smile suddenly drops without warning. "So. In other news. I'm leaving".
"I'm leaving"
"Don't worry I've got a replacement."
"Who is it?
"Your creative practice lecturer". Groans go around the room.
"I feel like i've been ripped from the womb!" my cellist friend says to me, fixated with a devastated grimace. "Are you leaving for good?"
"No no. I'll be back next year." She looks back at the red panda. "Isn't it cute".
"Yes its adorable, but why are you leaving". She explains her reasons but won't stop talking about the red panda. I contemplate again whether or not she has gone mad, I look to the front of the room and see that she is saying goodbye to the panda, aswell as us, and decide that she definately has got a screw, or two, loose. She says she is off to London to do a research project, but my money is on her going to join Kelly Adams in the bahamas. Bless her. We'll miss her very much.

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