Thursday, 9 June 2011


Where have I been? Ask And Ye Shall Receive asked that very question in their review of my blog, and it's exactly the kick up the arse I've needed to start splurging stories again.

A lot has happened since I last posted, I got engaged, I turned 21, I graduated and I flew out to Italy to teach for a few months, it's really great to be back...

On the third day of training to teach English as a foreign language we were thrown straight into the deep end with teaching Italian children, we were advised to go out into the playground to mingle with the wee things and I confidently approached the first child I could find. A little girl called Georgia.

"Hello! My name is Calum," I exclaimed with a big smile, "what's your name?"
"Georgia," she told me. I grinned happily.
"What colour is this?" I said grabbing my purple t-shirt and holding it up to her. She gave me a quasi-terriconfused expression but said nothing.
"PUR-PLE," I said slowly and obnoxiously. "PURPLE."
"Purple," she answered nodding slowly.
"PURPLE," I said again in an even more patronising tone than before.
"Yeah... it's purple," she said, "I speak fluent English."
"Oh." I was completely and utterly stumped for words. "Do you like DANCING?" I said and began to dance. She walked away un-amused and entirely unimpressed.

"I think I've been a condescending twat," I told my friends and they had no qualms with agreeing. Whoops!