Thursday, 25 February 2010

I have fallen out with Boney M for nearly getting me killed...

Karma, it's a bitch. Today i stole Lee's ipod headphones; I broke mine and wanted to listen to music on the way to Uni so i stole them, and i most certainly paid the price.

I'm walking along happily listening to 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun', a personal favourite, when an angry muscley mid-twenties man, wearing a track suit and holding a can of strongbow (9am. I know, scary) apporaches me. I have the music on quite loud and can't hear anything he is saying. He's gesturing wildly and looks extremely angry, I look to where he is pointing and there is another similar man also holding a can of strongbow. I take one headphone out to hear what they are saying, but that doesn't really help much, it's still drunken nonesense. I look at them confused as they sway back and forth in front of me, looking like they might attack me at any given moment. "Wha ya listnin' too!" I manage to vaguely understand what he is saying. He grabs the free headphone dangling by my chest and forces it into his ear. "Wha 'a fuck is this shit!?"

I panic. I don't know what to say. Say it's your sisters ipod, make up some intelligant believable excuse, or you are going to lose your teeth. Quickly, think quick.

"It's Cyndi Lauper..!" I spurt out. The worst thing I could have possibly said.
"Cyn'i Fuc'in Lauper? Who the fuck, is Cyn'i Fuc'in Lauper!?"

I say nothing but reach into my pocket to change the song. The Ipod is on shuffle, I hit next song, praying it will land on something 'cool' or 'manly'. Praying it might land on the one Dizzee Rascal song I have, or one of the Hadouken! songs, or maybe even The Killers but no...

It lands on the worst thing possible. Boney M - Rasputin.

"RA RA RASPUTIN LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN!" Bursts out from the headphones.
Oh god i've done it now. Goodbye face.

"Wha' the fuck is this!?"

I don't answer, i push past,

- Well i say push past, when I was telling this story to my friend this morning she corrected me.

"You definately didn't push past them. You skipped around them didn't you?"

Which is probably more accurate. So I skip around them and continue my walk to Uni, terrified that they might follow me. I hear them mocking me shouting "Cyn'i Fuc'in Lauper" behind me.

I hit next on my ipod as I have fallen out with Boney M for nearly getting me killed...

"It's Raining Men" plays out.

All i can do is thank god that didn't happen a few minutes ago.

Thanks a lot Karma. Thanks a Fuc'in lot...

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