Wednesday, 27 October 2010


Alright, I thought to myself, after Lee handed me my 18th drink of the night, he's up to something. Maybe he was trying to get me drunk to take advantage of me. After four years of a relationship it seems a little futile though, doesn't it?

Lets be honest now, though; after 18 drinks my thoughts weren't this concise and I was probably thinking more about how my hair looked than whether I should drink another drink. I downed it in one.

We parked ourselves right beside the wall ENTIRELY MADE OF GLITTER
(Surprise, surprise - Yes, thank you Cilla) and began checking out the bar-men.

It would seem that when you go to a city that isn't Derby there are in fact attractive gay men, it's a shock to the system, the only problem is they all work behind the bar. A stunning looking twenty-something man danced around the club carrying half a dozen shots trying to entice fellow-gay-bar-goers into a tipple. Nobody was half as interested in the shots as they were him.

I could hear Lee having a heart-attack out of excitement and telling me exactly how gorgeous he thought this man was. I already had other things on my mind... and... well... Mitch Hewer can sum the rest up for me.

I ripped a crisp five pound note from my wallet and called him over - I'm cheap - "Hiya!" he said still dancing waving the shots around in front of us.
"I'll buy five if you give my boyfriend a kiss!" I yelled over the teardrops dance-remix. He looked at Lee, smiled widely, and to Lee's utter confusion leaned in to kiss him. I then handed him the five pound note as if paying for some sordid prostitution and he handed over the five shots. One of which I handed back to him.
He downed it. I looked at Lee wickedly then pointed at my own lips. He leaned in and kissed me, laughing.

Please see above image for my sincerest apologies.

Love, Cal.

1 comment:

  1. I'm going to make those subtitles my friend's new slogan. Although the use of "slogan" makes me think she'd have to be selling something...