Thursday, 14 October 2010

Bridget Jones's Cal Karczewski's Diary

Alcohol: Half a bottle of Jacques Fruit De Bois.
Calories: 0
Cigarettes smoked: 0
Boys flirted with: 2

Friends called. Emails came in. Responsibilities had to be attended to. My diary was full, literally full. I looked at it from many different angles, considering the possibility of lunch or even a snack. There was no time. I accepted that.

I trailed around the university going from lecture to meeting to meeting to meeting to yet another god damn meeting. I had so many meetings to go to, I’m not even quite sure what some of the meetings were or why I was there, yet there I was, trying to stop my rambunctious friend saying anything else inappropriate to a room full of people. “I’m cutting you off," I said "You’ve made an apartheid joke and a herpes joke within the space of thirty seconds, tone it down now, yeah?”
Her hand went up again. The faux pas kept on coming.

After the fifth meeting I managed to have some time to grab a sandwich. “Twosies!” my friend called, stepping into the revolving door behind me knocking the aforementioned sandwich from my hands. I went hungry, my sandwich revolved for the rest of the day.

After 9 hours of meetings we went straight to the theatre; to watch a musical about a Dolly Parton tribute act and a sheep. - As bizarre as it sounds I actually recommend it.

Then I ate half a pizza and for some reason, probably because my body forgot what food was, threw up. Though there was no time for food, I did manage to find time to flirt with two different men as well as drink a glass and a half of Jacques. There's always time for that.

(This or food? It may as well be a rhetorical question)

I’m sorry body; I’ll treat you better from now on.

*awaits the email from my mother telling me how this was a silly thing to do*

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