The Gays In Spain Fall Mainly On The Plane.

We sat in Okay! cakes and ordered our drinks, the Spanish waiter took one look at my mother and made her coffee irish; even though she specifically asked for a espresso in her best Spanish. We sat there watching the various cafés and restaraunts clearing their tables out from the street in preperation for the parade. A few bars hung rainbow flags and the gays began to flock. First a few girls in plaid shirts and baggy black trousers with piercings sticking out of every, and I mean every, orifice. Then the boys with slicked hair, tasteful piercings, way too much aftershave and rainbows garbed around their waists. This was a Spanish gay pride. The first ever in the town La Linea. We waited for some time and eventually got bored and ready to leave. Just as we asked for the bill a pair of Spanish drag queens appeared and threw multiple packets of condoms at us. They spoke sharply and quickly, much like an English drag queen, only I had no idea what they were saying. They snapped their fingers, rolled their tongues and jerked their head left to right. "No intiendo!" I declared as (s)he began to look impatient.
(S)he paused for a moment and then tapped the word 'gay' on a flyer. I nodded, pointed to Lee, and nodded again. Then she pointed at mother. Mother nodded. I don't think she knew what she was saying.



The parade quickly followed, it was an experience I'll say that much. It was much smaller than an English pride parade, though much more entertaining. They sang and chanted and waved their flags - we understood none of it. The only thing we did understand was a well-preened man at the side of the parade chanting "Wapa Wapa Wapa" at every other boy who passed him.

As the parade was finishing we bought some spices from a nearby stall and headed home.

"That was good fun!" my mother said as she got into the car. "I'm glad I came now, it wasn't scary at all. I didn't get attacked by lesbians or anything!"

Well, I guess there's a first time for everything. As we drove back into the community where my parents live we stopped at the post-boxes. Quickly located one of mother's gay friend's post box and began stuffing it full of the condoms we had collected.

Chilidish? Perhaps, but mother egged us on.