Saturday, 22 May 2010

Seriously London? I know you're expensive but...

We approached a random vendor at Piccadilly Circus. "Can you help us? We're looking for the Apollo Theatre."
"Ah yes. Picadilly Theatre just up here." he pointed towards, funnily enough, Picadilly Theatre. "No, no, Apollo theatre."
"No need to apologise sir."

For god sake. Usually we wouldn't have minded, but we were in a slight rush. Adam and Lee had picked me up outside work, we'd got the tube straight to our hotel, got changed, and headed straight back out. At this point it was 7:28, we were trying to get to the theatre to see Wicked for 7:30. Chances were looking slim.

Adam pulled out his iPhone and searched for directions. "Got it!" he quickly directed us down some winding back streets and we arrived outside the Apollo. "Why are there no Wicked posters outside?" We looked at the building confused. I looked at the time 7:31. We ran up to the doors and asked the nearest person in a uniform.
"Wicked?" they laughed. "Wrong theatre. You want the other Apollo."
"The other Apollo!?"

We failed. We blamed the iPhone. Instead we went for steak.
"What do you mean you don't want any sides?"
"I just don't want any thanks."
"I don't understand. You don't want any side dishes?"
"No." the woman looked at me like I had just asked if I could eat her first born child. We ate our meal and walked to Soho to start drinking.

We selected a bar and went inside, a male dancer in a speedo was standing on the bar covering his body in oils. At this point I wasn't that interested, I was more interested in the drinks he was blocking. I had gotten rather use to male nudity by now, two weeks working with endless pictures of topless men, and then the Selfridges party, I just wanted a drink. I looked at the ridiculous selection of drinks behind the bar. It was a choice between draught beer, gin, or five hundred different flavours of Absolut vodka. I asked for a G&T - it cost me £7. Seven British Pounds for a SINGLE gin and tonic. Seriously London? I know you're expensive but...

As the night went on we ended up in a gay nightclub, Adam ordered three drinks from the bar, it cost him a crisp £20. We left for the hotel at 2am and drank some more there. We would have had to have taken out a mortage to aford any more.

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