Orange Face

University - it costs, correct me if i'm wrong, £3225 a year. Now that's a lot of money, plus for the most of us we have to pay to support ourselves for a minimum of three years. Of course a lot of people go home for the summer, which helps, but again some of us have to support ourselves over the summer too.

And what does that cover I ask you? Not everything. You have to pay for printing and parking. Printing off my 342 page coursework at 10p a sheet, was not cheap, I assure you.

So, I ask you, what do you want to get out of the best part of £10,000 plus interest and three years of your time. Some people will answer "A good piss up." To those people I would like to introduce them to the phrase "Any spare change please?" as i'm quite sure they will be needing it rather sharpish.

The people who say "A degree" fair enough, but £10,000, is a degree really enough?

A degree isn't enough for me, I want a 1st, work experience, life experience, refrences, things published, I want the whole shabang; after all you wouldn't pay an extorianate price for anything else, unless it was the best of the best, would you?

Today, as I'm sat in the library, in the quiet area, a rabble of blonde bimbos approach their hard working friend next to me.

"Oi, what ya doing daan here? Working? You geek."

I try to ignore them but when i hear one of them shout.

"Stop working, gaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd, you're such a swat. I've finished mine, I don't care what grade I get, as long as I pass so I don't have to do it again."

Alright orange face, can you fuck off out of this library before I am forced to hit a woman? - Is what I would have liked to say, but the better part of me said politely.

"Would you mind keeping it down please, thanks."

To which i get the response.

"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard."
"..." I turn back and try to get on with my work. She's relentless.
"What makes you think you have the right to talk to me like that pretty boy?"
"Well you're in the silent study area of the library, shouting your mouth off, and distracting your friend, and me, who are both trying to work."
"You're just jelous coz you could never get with a girl like me."
"Firstly. I'm gay, secondly, even if you were a 6 foot 5 Abocrombie and Fitch model, I wouldn't even consider talking to you because of your disgusting personality."
"You're gay? Ohhh I'm well sorry. I've always wanted a gay best friend."
"What?"
"I've always wanted a gay best friend. What's your name?"
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah." She smiles.

Oh lord. I gather my things and leave, the people around me do the same.

If that girl passes her degree please just tie me a noose and say your goodbyes, because you won't be seeing much of me after that.