Life Story

"Hiya!" I said to the passing attractive boys, "Would you like to..." they had already blanked me. I saw a well dressed girl wandering around on her own. I preyed on her. "Hi! Are you interested in contributing to the student magazine?"
"Oh hi. Sorry I look so rough, you see, I'm not feeling all that well to be honest with you. What happened was I think I picked up that, what do you call it? That fresher's flu! You know what with being surrounded by freshers for a fortnight, you're bound to get ill aren't you! The thing is, I'm thinking about having a party, wouldn't that be great? My Birthday is coming up so I thought I could invite everybody from the University and have them all dress up. We could have a theme and everything. Have you seen my earings by the way? Do you think they're nice? I went into Zara today and they had all these new earrings so I thought i'd get a pair. Nice? Oh and have you seen that man over there? He's quite good looking, isn't he? He's going to get me a t-shirt. Well, it's not for me. It's for my little sister. Well, I say little sister. She's 16! I'll always see her as a little five year old though. You know what I mean?"
"Uh huh." I said with bewilderment. "And do you want to write for the student magazine?"
"Oh. No, but could you put that in the bin." she said handing me some rubbish, taking a handful of compliementary sweets and walking away.

It was no surprise that we gave up five minutes later. "We're going to get pizza" we chorused in unison and left our friend to man the magazine desk on her own. "Don't be long!" she called back. We were gone less than 30 seconds when we were distracted by a smiling lady with scissors. "Would you like to make something to put on the love tree?" She handed me some scissors. I looked back at our friend, stood on her own, waiting for us to come back. I looked at the pizza stand. I looked at the scissors.

Ten minutes later, as I was attempting to cut a love heart out of brown fur, my friend turned to me and said. "Cal. I think we're off task."