Forever Young

I do wonder what the big excitement around youth is about, I feel it myself, of course. But why? A gay barman, who thought my name was Hayden (a story for another time), once told me that a gay man's mid-life crisis is at 21. That leaves me only 8 months. Ouch. I don't consider myself old though, i'm not that naiive and blind. 20 is young, 29 is young in my books.

So, what is the secret behind youth? What is it that we all desire in youth? When we have it we don't want it; when it's gone, we do. Youth is perception, you really are as young as you feel, your Grandma is telling the truth. She can pull some hot tricks on the trampolene.

Not only do we desire to be young ourselves, we desire young partners. Last night's X Factor evening proved this. The five of us gathered around the T.V lusting after the barely legal singing, dancing, bags of hormones. It's a very rare occasion that I find a 16 year old attractive, they would have to look old for their age, 19-21 is my preference at this point in time. If you are sitting at home right now judging me. He's legal, what do I care what you think?
*swoons*

It's not the same for all of us though, I do know a choice few people, my age, who find Richard Nixon and Richard Madeley sexy. Ew. Just ew. I should hope that as I age myself, my taste in men will age with me. I can't ever imagine finding a middle aged man attractive though. Urgh.

I guess we should always look forward, no matter what your age. 16, 20, 29, 40, 60, 122. We're always going to be looking back and reminscing. Those memories keep us young. No matter how much you wish it, you will never be able to go back and live them. That's why they're memories. A film is never as good the second time around, so what makes you think life would be?

I know what some of my older readers must be thinking right now. Yeah, right o, Cal. Give it twenty years and then say that. They're probably right.

I look back sometimes to when I was a child and wonder how I was so ridiculously, in lack of a better word, stupid. When I was about five I was sat in church on a Sunday as the collection plate was being passed around. The woman next to me passed it to me and said. "Do you have any pocket money?" I looked up at her slightly puzzled, said "No, thank you." and took 30p from the plate. I wish I still had that same understanding of life. Then again, I guess when you're young it's all about taking and not giving, that changes with age. Adults love to give, not take(there's a joke in there somewhere), which is undeniably a desirable trait. A reason we should appreciate our age and not always want to go backwards.

In honour of that thought, today is a day for giving. I'd like you to join me in being generous today, small or little.

First thing on my list is to return 30p I unknowingly stole 15 years ago. I'll let you know how I get on.

Watch this space!