Saturday, 5 June 2010

Amsterdam VII: Old Timely Sex Aids

We had assumed the sex museum would be an entirely novelty experience, full of giant plastic penises and such. We were wrong. We were pleasently suprised to find that a lot of the items showcased were museum worthy, that's not to say the novelties weren't there. They were.

It was the BDSM exibit that really baffled me. A warning sign outside warning those of a faint heart not to enter. It wasn't overwhelmingly disgusting, it was just weird. I fail to see how a naked woman strapped to a heated towel rail, with a plunger on her face and mouse traps on her feet, is anything but weird. The fact that people feitsh for that is just downright bizarre. I'm not judging them, they can do what they like, I just don't understand! However, BDSM has one good quality - whoa, whoa, whoa, Cal. Did you just say what we think you just said I hear you cry.

Yes! But hold on a second, it's from an English student's perspective. BDSM is an incredibly clever abrieviation. It's ingenious! For those of you who don't know exactly what it stands for, fear not, neither did I.

The B&D, is Bondage and Discipline, the D&S is Dominance and Submission and the S&M (as we know) is Sadism and Masochism. That's incredibly clever, is it not? The 4 letter abrieviation constitutes 6 words.

Not impressed? Well, nevermind.

Lee and I thoroughly enjoyed the homo-erotic section, as small as it was. It featured the first gay porn on record, dated back to the 1800's. Which is pretty impressive. Well, it wasn't really porn, it could have been classified as art, but still, it was a risky thing to do, I hope those young boys weren't strung up for it.

The novelties were the best bits though, if i'm entirely honest. A 10 foot phallus,

(I'm happy to reveal I wrote about phalluses similar to these in my narratives essay this year.)

some erotic cakes

(Next Birthday in Amsterdam please)

and exhibits of old timely sex aids.


The best thing by far though, was the sheer ammount of pensioners wandering around the museum pointing and giggling, and the one bloke in a suit taking it all very seriously.

The best museum i've ever been in by far. Fun, fun, fun.

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