Amsterdam V: When I Met Kylie Minogue Justin Timberlake

I should have liked this post to be called When I Met Kylie Minogue, but as we approached Madame Tussauds I noticed they had her in the main window. Rightfully where she belongs, I agree, but sadly this meant I could not be photographed with her. I possibly could have done if I jumped over a barrier and wrestled with some Dutch security guards, but it wouldn’t have been worth it just to be photographed with a Kylie shaped candle. If it was the real Kylie I probably would have hopped over the aforementioned barrier and wrestled with the aforementioned security guards – however it was not.

I instead settled for JT (Justin Timberlake for you oldies who don’t understand such abbreviations). Again if I was going to grope a good looking celebrity I would have liked it to have been Cristiano Ronaldo or Enrique Iglesias, but they were nowhere in sight so I settled for JT.


(Me and a not so convincing JT)

Some of the wax works were incredibly realistic, I got confused a few times. Waiting in a crowd of people, not really moving anywhere I got cross and said to Lee. “I wish this big fella would move he’s been stood here for ages!”
“You mean Pavarotti?” I had been stood behind a wax work of Pavorotti impatiently for a good five minutes. Others though were not so realistic. Although they got J-Lo’s posterior accurately the same couldn’t be said for her face.


(Left) Not my own photo - stolen from google images, we didn't bother to photograph such an atrocity. Okay, she doesn't look that bad, but she looks nothing like the real J-Lo! (Right)

I stumbled upon Nicolas Cage in some decaying corner somewhere, exactly where he belonged. I pondered for a moment on why they would waste good time and good money creating a wax work of such a talentless man. I then realised, it gave me the perfect opportunity for me to tell him exactly what I thought of his films. I begged him to stop making films, I told him how appalling his acting prowess was, and then I asked him for the 15 minutes of my time back that he wasted with Ghost Rider. (And yes it was a 2 hour film, I just couldn’t bare any more of it after 15 minutes.)

It was good fun though, Lee got to meet a very shiny B (Again oldies that's Beyoncé)



and I got to recreate the Mona Lisa to how it should have been painted.



Now all I have to do is find the real Nicolas Cage, Justin Timberlake and Kylie Minogue, i've had my practise run.