Friday, 19 March 2010

I like a woman with junk in the trunk...

Yet another post about the supermarket.

I've got to stop writing these...
I really have to stop writing these...
This is the last one...
I promise...

Standing at the self check-out at 9pm, the shop nearly empty, a woman comes up to the check-out next to me and starts scanning on her shopping. The security guard walking up and down between the check-outs turns to her, kisses his teeth and says over her shoulder.

"Arl-riy-eet big tits."

She smiles awkwardly but doesn't say anything back.

"I like a woman with junk in the trunk."

How inappropriate I think. A middle aged woman opposite has the exact same sentiment. The only difference is that I keep my mouth firmly shut and she decides to voice it.

"Excuse me. I don't think it's appropriate for a staff member to talk to a customer like that."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Chill out Grandma... She's ma sister."

"He's ma brother."

"And that makes it better? If anything that's worse. It is worse. You really talk to your sister like that?"

"Yeah. We close. We reeeel close."

He stands behind her whispering something into her ear. They lean their heads back and cackle in unison, revealing their countless gold fillings. The woman opposite takes her shopping and leaves.

"Next time i'll go to 'M&S'. If I wanted to assosiate with your sort i'd have gone to 'Netto'."

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