Monday, 25 January 2010

Tapas for a tenner

The day after yet another harsh night out, wearing a recycled cat halloween costume as it was between that and wearing a bed sheet as a toga, I decide it was time for a good hearty meal. Lee comes home from work so me him and Jay decide to go to La Tasca for tapas. To liven things up a little we decide to play a game with the apparantly Spanish waitress. She had to say certain words or phrases so many times to earn her tip. She had no idea this game was going on, or so we thought. First she had to say the word 'tapas' ten times.
"Hola! Have you eaten tapas before? What tapas can i get you this evening? Would you like to try the tapas for a tenner menu? There's quite a variety of tapas on there. The tapas I would suggest is the paella tapas its really delicious. Its what i eat every time i have tapas but obviously everyones taste in tapas is different, that's the whole point of tapas really. Don't you just love tapas?" to our disdane she passes with flying colours before our food even arrives. We decide that was too easy. Next we decide she has to say the phrase "Would you like any more drinks?". Her being Spanish and having trouble understanding what we were trying to order, we felt this was somewhat a challenge. She comes over before i have barely taken a sip from my drink and says happily. "Would you like any more drinks?" I look at her suspiciously and decline with thanks. She brings out our food. We decide she needs to say it three more times to earn her tip. She asks twice more before it is time for us to pay the bill. "Could i have the bill please?" I ask as she passes, though she interupts me with "Of course. Would you like any more drinks?". I shake my head and she gives me a quirky smile. "Somehow she has figured out our game!".
"Ok" Lee says. "She has to say 'Have a lovely evening', those exact words to get her tip". I look at him, pondering whether that would be cruel or not. "I'm going to give her a tip of £1.50. If she says 'Have a lovely evening' i'll double it. It's agreed. She comes back over with the bill and i ask if i can pay on card. She brings over the card machine. She stands watching over me smiling. I punch in my pin number and 'Gratuity?" pops up on the screen. I look at it my finger hovering between 'Yes' and 'No'. I look at the waitress. She gives me a squinted smile with a nod. I press 'Yes'. 'Ammount?' pops up next. I look at the digits and go to punch in £1.50. When she stops me by saying "Have you had a good time, was the food good?" I turn away from the card machine and say "Yes thanks. It was delicious"
"I'm glad. You make sure you boys have a lovely evening". she looks at me slyly as if to say 'I know your game'. I punch in £3, actually i tell a lie, Lee punches in £3 because i manage to break the machine and he has to do it for me, and we leave. On the way out I begin to think that our game was horribly cruel, afterall the waitress definately deserved her tip regardless of our silly game, and then i hear her sarcastically say again as we slip out of the door. "Have a lovely evening".
Oh fuck off i think.

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