Friday, 22 January 2010

Eight for the price of one.

My lovely vegetarian friend is coming over for a visit and i foolishly send her a message saying i will get some drinks in before checking my bank balance and realising i have no money. I look around, find some change and two bottles of repulsive dark rum that have been sitting on the side for over a year. One word pops into my head. Caprihina. The drink i discovered while visiting my parents, the drink which i have been forcing everyone, including myself, to drink since. When they say they don't like it, which most of the time they do, I insist that they drink. "It gets nicer towards the bottom". So i take my change and make my way to tesco. I put eight limes in a bag, pick up some bread and a couple of bottles of lemonade and make my way to the self check-out. I scan the lemonade. I scan the bread. I pick up the limes and press fruit, I press limes. I see quantity. I see 8. I see 1. I press 1. Now this for me, is extreme. Perhaps in the past i may have overlooked that i had 7 lemons in my bag and pressed 6, or perhaps accidently pressed 4 or instead of 5 but now i was playing a whole different game. I'm a down right thief! I have no morales! I put my limes into the bag with the lemonade and bread, pay with the loose coins in my pocket and leave with haste. On the walk home i see a homeless man cradling an adorable dog, he looks very cold and wet. I reach into my pocket and give him all my change, about £2. As i walk away from him, i realise the money i gave him was about the same price as the limes i should have paid for. My mind then goes off onto a tangeant. I'm like Robin hood! Stealing from the rich and giving to the poor! I think about my accomplishment all the way home, extremely proud and satisfied with myself. I get home and start cutting limes when Lee comes back from work. "Making caprihinas again...?"
"Yes." i say happily. "I Stole the limes!"
"You stole them?"
"Yes! And i gave the money i would have used to pay for them to a homeless man".
There is a long silence as he looks at the ecstatic expression on my face... and then he crushes it.
"It's just a few limes... who do you think you are? Robin hood?". I reply with no words just the angry expresion of a child.

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