My Likeness to Robert Pattinson

"Wait, don't tell me!" a stranger said stumbling in her high heels as she approached me. "You're meant to be Robert Pattinson, aren't you?"

Why do people keep asking me that, I thought.

"Yeah. Sure. Why not."
"I'd ask you out but I'm too old for you," she told me, convinced I would be disapointed.
"I'd accept but i'm afraid I'm too gay for you," I answered back.

And I was right. I was too gay for Graham Norton at this point.


(The resemblance is uncanny, isn't it..? - Okay, it's probably a compliment to be compared to Robert Pattinson, but personally I think the man is fugly)

The idea behind my costume was to be the personification of glitter, I don't think many people understood it though; I'm pretty sure most people thought my gay was just leaking out. "Fucking Faggot," one party goer shouted into my face, just because I was covered head to toe in glitter - or maybe I touched his bum...

Laura GaGa said I looked like a Norweigan Popstar, she was right on the money. Purple (temporary) hair dye, pink leg warmers, Kanye shutter shades and drenched in glitter. It was only a matter of time til I burst out into my own rendition of Dragostea Din Tei.



We all got horrifically drunk, so much so that the only way me and my photographer friend knew that we crossed paths was because we had pictures to prove it.



Lee didn't get the memo that Halloween was no longer about looking scary but all about looking slutty - he still looks rather dashing though; don't you think?



And as for pumpkin carving. What do you think we carved in it? If you know me and Lee at all you will already know that we carved a penis.



Happy Halloween (for two days ago)
Love Cal! x